I still love you...
Of course this is another story of a brokenhearted and mistreated person.
Of course it’s a story of an individual that feels that they have been undervalued and unappreciated.
I mean what’s new nowadays?
Everybody thinks they are too awesome and too good to love and to be loved.
Have you ever sat down and thought about the reason you are okay with being a heartbreaker or cheating?
What's stopping you from being honest, your insecurities? What will being honest expose about you? What will you lose?
Why don’t you want to commit?
Is it because you are working on yourself or because you are scared of opening up to someone? Is it because you don't want to be in risk of getting your feelings hurt?
What does committing mean to you? Do you think of it as being weak, vulnerable, prone to be manipulated and unappreciated?
Stop fronting. Stop lying to yourself and stop acting tough and heartless.
It’s not that you don’t care, but that you may end up caring too much. So, instead you choose to not give a f*** or better said act like you don’t give a fuck.
I’m not saying we all need to be in relationships, I’m just saying we shouldn’t be afraid of them.
And most importantly we need to stop playing with people’s hearts and mental health.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship and/or not being ready to commit to one. However, it is absolutely wrong, unfair, and selfish to trick individuals into thinking you are ready for one. Even worst, doing everything for an individual not to leave you, but not doing anything that would make them want to stay.
Yeah, whatever. That’s what we all say right? Oh well. I ain’t no sucker.
Well...for me, I loved. I loved with everything in me. He wasn’t ready, but he always claimed he was. Five years later he still isn’t, but still claims that he is.
And honestly, nothing in this world is perfect, I get it. He didn’t cheat on me because that’s something I wouldn’t and no one should ever negotiate with.
The problem, I have now figured out, was that I loved him more than I loved myself.
I lost myself, trying to find that spot in his heart that actually valued me beyond my bedroom skills and my looks.
But now that I love me more, I love him less....
When you love yourself, you refuse to settle for anything less than what you deserve. And when you know your worth and yourself, you interact with, attract, and pursue only people that present the qualities that would match or elevate your standards.
Five years later, I realized that it wasn’t you not meeting my standards, but it was me settling for less or in other words a potential you never reached.
Take the time to truly love yourself, fight your fears, grow, heal, and then love someone else or you will hurt them, yourself, or both.
I still love you...I just love me more now! So, F.U!
Love Always, Findurselfbyjro
Special thanks to Benjamin Melton for the amazing photograph and photoshoot! Check out his work on his Instagram (@mindofmagnani)