How to effectively face and deal with your problems!


              Now, 1…1000 real quick *Drake’s Voice*. Think of a problem you had or just something that did not go your way. Let us say: you failed an exam, you missed a flight, you lost your wallet, you just got rejected (not referring to basketball here) or you got injured out of nowhere.

What do you do now?

Take some time to analyze what goes on in your mind when ONE, I emphasize ONE, issue comes up.  I’ll use the example of ‘I messed up at work and got yelled at”. Pheeeew….that’s a tough one, but the purpose of this post is not to tell you how to make your boss acknowledge your hard work, realize you are human not a robot or give you a promotion. The point of this post is to make you understand that ONE problem is ONE problem, not two not a 100 or a 1000. Let’s elaborate on the aforementioned issue, shall we?

As you read the following example, keep this in mind: "Our approach and perspective have a lot to do with how an event impacts us."

Version 1: “I got yelled at, at work the other day…again, but it should get better with time.” This statement implies that your supervisor or boss corrected a tiny mistake you conducted or told you to do something differently simply because that how she/he prefers it to be done or that is the company’s culture. However, you know or hope that with time it will get better. One issue posed, one issue analyzed, and one issue will be resolved soon.

Version 2: “My boss yelled at me at work the other day. I don’t understand why my boss has the need to point out every single detail required. She/he is trying to belittle me because she/he has 0 confidence in me and my work. I have been working here for years, I know how to do my job. Maybe she/he wants to fire me. I can’t afford to lose my job. How will I pay my bills? What will my family say? This reminds me of that time in college during my summer internship where the program’s coordinator….”

Do you see where I am going with this? Not only you have managed to misinterpret and overthink an incident, but you have magnified it, and you have also justified why this incident is as terrible as you have described it. You are now referring to college days, searching for similar incidents that have taken place in the past, and before you know it, you will be calling yourself a loser for not having a job or a failure because you always make mistakes.

Keep in mind, no one said you were getting fired or that you are not good at what you do. Oh! You will also remember to mention the fact you are single too because it is just soooo relevant right?

And at this point, I believe, this is where we all relate! 1…1000 my people.

One little or major issue takes place and we have awaken (yes awaken!) 75.000 other problems we are facing or have faced in the past. We have transformed this problem into the end of the world. We feel helpless, question our worth, and panic.

Ask yourself, “Can you solve 10 mathematical problems simultaneously?” No! Right? Right, but why does this matter?

A mathematical problem actually has a fixed solution and/or method, you follow X steps, and you get to the answer.  Life problems? Nah, nothing but time and self-growth can tell you, help you or make you find the answer.

YOU JUST HAVE TO LIVE, EXPERIENCE, AND LEARN.

The consistent development and work on yourself is what will help you find the result. And you definitely cannot resolve life problems simultaneously, so why even bother thinking of doing so. 

Treat a life problem like a mathematical problem you learned how to solve, while in 8th grade or younger. Take it step by step, don’t subtract before multiplying etc. There are rules, there is an order; so, be patient. Don’t guess answers, take the time to solve the problem. When you mess up or you are stuck, ask for guidance and/or assistance from someone wiser. Not because you are not smart or good enough, but because there is always someone else that has more experience than you do at that moment that can help you.

Face one problem at a time!

Assess the problem, dictate the level of importance, seek for other ways the problem has been solved in the past, consider possible outcomes, but most importantly remember THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION. Just like in math, some problems are a piece of cake and other ones are a pain in the… Right? Either way, they can still be solved.

Next time you come across an issue or something negative occurs, REMEMBER AND SAY THE FOLLOWING TO YOURSELF:

  1. This is one problem (not this is one more problem).
  2. I can solve this because it wouldn’t be a problem, if a solution did not exist.
  3. I will solve it step by step because rushing will not serve any purpose, but make me panic irrationally.
  4. I will ask for help because that doesn’t make me less capable, but it makes me smarter. It just expands my knowledge and adds to my ability to better face, think on, and resolve the issue.
  5. This is just another test to the strength of my faith. I am strong because… (Fill in what you believe in….YOU BETTA INCLUDE YOUSELF).

 Finally, I want you to remember:

You are special, you are unique, you are one of a kind, and no one can be you better than you can. Don’t say why me; your problems will be different just like you. Everything you go through is part of the journey of transforming to the wonderful individual you already are and are meant to be. Just keep pushing and working on yourself. You got this!

 

Love Always, Findurselfbyjro! xoxo

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